Thoughts to feelings

I haven’t written a poem for a while because I like to write from my feelings and in all honesty,  of recent I’ve felt numb. I know I’m not the only one that has experienced these feelings so why not talk about it? Why hide my words of emptiness? It’s not everyday smiles and laughter and that’s OK. 

I lay here feeling nothing. Nothing but shallow and empty.

Where’s my depth, where’s my love?

Where’s my joy, where’s my smile?

I’m grey like the darkest, thunderous skies ready to downpour.

Ready to release every ounce of pain, anger and confusion I’ve been storing up internally.

This mixture of feelings I don’t welcome.

Never have I ever felt so alone in a world so unrecognisable.

Sad and lonely with little hope for my future.

Alone in my thoughts, affraid that no one will understand me.

More often my thoughts control how I feel.

Or should I say…I give my thoughts the power to determine how I feel

I need to remind myself that my thoughts aren’t real.

They’re a figment of my imagination.

Conjured up stories with no truth, but I allow myself to become absorbed in them.

I’m looking for an escape a way to dissolve these thoughts and feelings that don’t feel comfortable within myself.

Why can’t I find the strength to face the demons that are shadowing their darkness on my light.

I feel so lost, I don’t know which direction to turn but I have to move. 

I can’t stay here.

This isn’t my finale destinations but just a passing one.

Rather than run from it, let me explore it, discover it’s untamed wilderness. 

Who knows what I may unearth.

How do I escape this misery, how to I shift the mood?

Why am I feeling like this? What’s the reason? 

How do I heal?

And out of nowhere my questions are answered. It all comes flooding to me.

I don’t have to do anything. It’s just a passing feeling.

They’re not here to stay but to teach me.

To teach me that amongst my light lives darkness and without that darkness there is no light.

These feelings have simply taught me to let go of all the restrictions that I have enclosed myself in.

These feelings have taught me to trust in myself.

These feelings have given me my freedom to just be.

Who is Louise Pierre