On Friday I took myself to Lakeside to buy a nice little outfit to wear out on Saturday night. Now when I go shopping I always have a little image in my head of what I want to buy and how it’s going to look. So I knew exactly what kind of outfit I was looking for!
I only have one little face mirror in my house and I haven’t seen a full reflection of my body for ages. So you can imagine the shock I had when I tried on a nice little bikini that was on sale in New Look. Oh my f@#king god my body is far from a bikini body! I’ve generally been body confident even after so many children but OMG that reflection that I saw just crashed my spirit. Who was that person I was looking at?
From then on my whole shopping experience was a disaster. Everything I tried on just made me feel fat and unattractive. Eventually after literally spending the whole day in lakeside I found a nice, bright coloured, yellow dress in Zara which I purchased in a large to hide my body. And If I’m honest it done me major justice and I did look kinda cute 🙈
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so body conscious in my life! It actually depressed me. I started beating myself up mentally and felt devastated. I vowed to myself that I’m going on a strict diet ( I’m eating a bar of chocolate as I type this!) and getting back on the gym hype.
Then after 2 days of scorching hot sun and trying to find clothes to wear in my wardrobe that will cover my legs and hide my stomach I had a little epiphany. I don’t actually care that my legs aren’t perfect. I’ve got fat knees, cellulite, stretch marks, scars and bruises….SO WHAT!! Come to think of it I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have flaws or Insecurities with their bodies.
I’m tired of being bombarded with all these images of perfect bodies every time I go on my social media, turn on my tv or open a magazine. It can be really damaging to my self-esteem. In fact I believe this to be a contributing factor to the increase in depression and mental illness in women. We study these images and start comparing ourselves to them not really realising or understanding that they are JUST images. They’re not real. They’re all an illusion! Women are going to extreme measures to obtain the “perfect body”…but sorry it doesn’t exist!
What is it with us women that we beat ourselves and each other up by body shaming and comparing ourselves. What if we all started sharing real pictures of ourselves…jelly bellies, stretch marks, cellulite and everything? Would it become the norm just as plastic surgery has. Would our faults then become seen as perfection???
Yes, I do go to the gym and exercise but that’s mainly for health reasons…I plan on living to at least 100. I also love going to the gym. I’ve met some really good friends there and on some occasions it’s more like a social gathering than a hardcore workout. Oh yeah and not to mention the sexy muscle I occasionally get a glimpse of hahahahaha
Well yesterday I put on my shorts (don’t worry they weren’t pum pum shorts lol) and I literally didn’t give a f@#k what anyone thought and it felt really liberating. I’m living my life for me. People can judge, they can comment but I’m happy in my skin…imperfections, flaws and all and so should you be xxx