I am enough!

I’ve had such a good week. It’s been productive, I’ve been full of love and really happy. I did have 2 anxiety attacks but I just thought I was feeling the energy of a friend who isn’t in a good place at the moment. Oh, didn’t I tell you? I’m a sponge. I soak up people’s energy. It can be a blessing but some times I become so absorbed it brings me down. Anyway that’s a whole different blog lol. So I’ve been in a really good place and then this morning I woke up to a really sad feeling. A reminder that my love wasn’t received as I intended and the feeling that I wasn’t enough. All my old doubts came flooding back and I could feel myself sinking.

I forced myself to get up and go for a run. To start off it was a real battle of the mind. I was thinking I don’t want to do this, I can’t run the distance I had planned and then I let the sadness out. I cried and as I did I could feel my strength coming back, my determination to keep on running and the knowledge that I AM ENOUGH returning. As I took each stride it felt easy and the thought of stopping had disappeared. I felt like Forrest Gump…I just kept on running and running. It was a reflection of how I was feeling about myself. I have come so far within myself. My confidence and self love has returned and I don’t want it to stop. I’m loving the new Louise and any little glimpse of the old Louise scares me. As much as she’s a part of me and I still have love for her I just want to let her go. She has taught me so much and has got me to this part of my life’s journey but it’s time to let go of her and make way for the new Louise. The Louise who won’t give up, who will take each step as it comes with out looking ahead and seeing the struggles or obstacles which may cross my path. The Louise who will always be a winner not matter what position she comes.

Towards the end of my run I stopped off at the park and had the best mediation that I’ve ever experienced. Being out, laying back with the sun shining down on my skin and the sound of the birds and the breeze in my distance thoughts was such a fulfilling feeling. The more I meditate the more time I want to spend in that state. I could of literally stayed in that park all day. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I will definitely be doing it again!

By the time I got back home my spirit had been lifted, my sadness had passed and I had reassured myself that I was, I am and will always be enough. Enough for myself. And do you know what? Today I achieved my furthest distance ever of 5.2 miles 😁